Friday, June 26, 2009

precious moments

I'm at the halfway mark of the Summer Institute in the Denver Teaching Fellows program!  I'm learning so much and loving my classes!  Though the days are long and rigorous.  In the mornings I am doing Student Teaching at a summer school that focuses on English Language Acquisition where I have 18 beautiful Hispanic 2nd graders, each with a unique set of talents and story.

This morning was a special day for my students.  We took them on a field trip to the nearby nursing home about 10 blocks from the school.  They have been there before and occasionally make cards for the ancianos there.  Today they had practiced really hard and had prepared to sing a handful of songs that they have been learning during summer school.  We walked the 10 blocks to the nursing home and were ushered into "the grand hall" where about 10 residents awaited us.  They were of mixed ages and varying levels of mental stability.  After the kids found their places and were getting reading to start, a resident in a wheel chair (who obviously had some serious issues) out of nowhere breaks the silence by shouting "F**k!"  We were stunned and it was all I and my teaching partner could do to not burst out laughing. We controlled ourselves, but I looked at my kids and they were looking around and I know exactly what was probably running through their heads - Did he just say what I think he said??!!  Then immediately another resident from across the room shouts back "Shut up!" by which the disturbed gentleman replies "A**hole!"  What an awkward moment!!!  And really hilarious.  The poor kids responded so well by not saying anything and immediately starting singing their songs. =)

After their presentation, they went around and introduced themselves to the residents and even a few of the girls taught some of them the hand games that we did as kids (Hannah and I could do "Miss Sue" really well). =)  They were shy and a bit scared to talk to the residents but they did it.  It warmed my heart to see my 2nd graders talking to the residents who looked (to them) a bit scary and different.  I was so proud of them. I have one more week left with them until my Student Teaching is over.  I'm really going to miss estos niños míos.

Monday, June 22, 2009

A Word of Wisdom on Spending Time

“If we could waste time with out injuring eternity” – Henry David Thoreau

 

Last week I camped in Colorado’s wilderness to clear my head from a cluttered and chaotic life. Accompanied by a good friend, we began the hike at 6 am intending to summit a 12,000 ft pass early enough to evade deadly electrical storms in the afternoon. We reached the summit quicker than expected and were greeted with warm sapphire skies, the still rising sun low on a craggy horizon. We were making good time and trudged on into a vale of Aspen and Doug Fir that led down to our destination. When we reached camp I turned my cell phone on, hoping to get the time. The vertical bars that normally indicate coverage were gone: No Service. After I drove a stake into a sunny patch of dirt to try calculating the hour and staring at its shadow, I realized the soil was not going to produce numbers to help out. No ticking of a clock, no outside contact with the world through a television, I sat back and dazed at swaying treetops, acclimating to the pace of a new environment. It then dawned on me that time -as far as a number game goes- is a social ordinance, not a natural tempo. My friend, who observed my brief moment of panic, said casually “If we could only waste time with out injuring eternity.” Introspecting for a minute I faced a question that I often don’t take time to ask: What is the best use of time?

 This humorous circumstance is reminiscent Lewis Mumford’s claim that when the clock was invented it turned us from time-keepers to time-savers and finally, into time-servers. Consider how minutes and hours, days and weeks, affect our interactions with other people. Meetings with loved ones or friends immediately get slotted into a block of time and as that time evaporates, anxiety rises and pressure to be at the next place presses in. Because our lives are counted up numerically, we should be conscious and proactive in prioritizing the events that compose life. This is not to say that the invention of the clock is a detriment to society, but that its place on our wrists and walls has become a deified symbol that -as I experienced- gives too much meaning to the day.

 Neil Postman said in his book Amusing Ourselves to Death that “the clock introduced a new form of conversation between man and God,” and that “Perhaps Moses should have included another commandment: Thou shalt not make mechanical representations of time.” If there is no system of prioritization in life, then the clock, although providing structure, cheapens our interactions with each other and God.  

 For those who have spiritual lives, the object of attention tends to be something invisible. As Christians, our spiritual focus is on Christ; unseen but internally dwelling. This truth about spirituality makes fostering such a life incredibly difficult with out a disciplined organization of time. Because the minute tallying clock confines our lives, there is a need to weed out the things that encroach on the Holy; the quiet moments where His Word is heard. With out proper time to heed His still, small voice, our ears will deafen in the Divine conversation.

 This morning I browsed some blogs and read a post where the author describes how much time is spent in front of the TV which, after introspecting and evaluating unmet inner needs, they cut the television’s cord and chose to abstain for 31 days from its talking heads and constant output of information. With the post was a cartoon of a man genuflect in front of a television set. I was reminded of another cartoon from Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin, in his pajamas holding a bowl of mush, walks up to the television and says:

 

            “Oh greatest of the mass media, thank you for elevating emotion, reducing thought and stifling imagination. Thank you for the artificiality of quick solutions and for the insidious manipulation of human desires for commercial purposes. This bowl of lukewarm tapioca represents my brain. I offer it in humble sacrifice. Bestow thy flickering light forever.”

 

As he speaks he is also prostrate before the TV. The scene that follows depicts a dark room where a mother stares with a groggy and confused expression at the bowl of tapioca in front of a glaring television with no one around. We laugh at the author’s social critique for its poignancy and truth, admitting with a sense of guilt that we waste copious amounts of time in front of the tube, and that the images of a man and a boy bowing as to a god is entirely accurate of the place we’ve given the TV.

 In 1985 Neil Postman wrote Amusing Ourselves to Death as the television was gaining momentum in society. He addresses the potentially dangerous impact that television will have epistemologically, cognitively and spiritually on the contour of societies landscape. He draws a line of evolution, from reading to watching, by pointing out that since the Israelites days, the Judeo-Christian God “…was to exist in the Word and through the Word, an unprecedented conception requiring the highest order of abstract thinking.” He concludes that, “Iconography thus became blasphemy so that a new kind of God could enter a culture.” Have the Clock and TV become such deified icons?

 While the definition of who or what God is differs culturally, we agree that whatever shape or form God has in an individual’s life, it competes for full attention; the center of existence; the thing around which we order our time. And it appears to me that God knew humanity was prone to be preoccupied with instant gratification: The immediate image to touch and worship, instead of devoting time to quiet mind and spirit; the personal passion of Christ.

 Postman correlates televisions ability to grab our attention through images as informative entertainment to the opening of a cultural chasm void of literacy, introspection, critical thinking and time management. It appeals to a culture whose schedule is out of control. When you have a society bogged down with over-loaded schedules full of vain activity due to an inability to prioritize, you have a people whose minds and souls are too willing to accept easy information and cheap entertainment. When one can turn the TV on and simultaneously do chores or converse with family while not missing a beat of the universes drum, it further devalues time as an asset worth managing.  

 It is no surprise then, when put into nature, whose daily habits are still dictated by seasons, the rising and setting of the sun, that I wander about kicking stones and scratching imaginary itches. It is the outward scratch of an Eternal itch within. That consciousness is only tapped into when my senses cease to be tantalized by constant stimulation. It therefore becomes easy to blame society, as if I were merely a Pavlovian dog and not a sovereign creature of God.

 It is this point of difference that makes any outward blaming totally null. In his book Guilt and Grace, Paul Tournier says:

 

                 We see many people who are perpetually lamenting the lack of time, with out ever seriously considering what sacrifices they could make to remedy the situation. They accuse civilization, modern life, the motorcar, machines, all the things which have been invented to save time, as if they were the victims and not the culprits…we allow ourselves to be swept along by the current of life instead of resisting it by the reform of our own lives, and that the problem is a personal rather than a social one”  

 

Of 168 hours a week, perhaps 40-50 is tied up in making a living. Now examine that phrase: making a living. We are bound to finality; we have a beginning and an end; and through out this journey we have an opportunity to determine what is worth living for. Moses, in the 91st Psalm, reflects on our span under the sun in “seventy years – eighty for those who are strong” and ask God to “Teach us to count up the days that are ours, and we shall come to the heart of wisdom.” Wisdom, the apogee of existence to the Hebrew, the ability to determine daily what is worthy of ones life, so that by its end they can know that they lived life, not as Thoreau saw, as men living lives of quiet desperation, but living it to its fullest.

 What is it about numbering our days that leads to Wisdom? When Moses uses that word, the common meaning is to obtain the skill and understanding to prioritize ones life. But Wisdom is deeper than the calculus that goes into planning a day. In Psalm 8, Wisdom (memra) speaks and says “From everlasting I was set, from the beginning, before the earth came into being. The deep was not, when I was born.” It doesn’t take a theologian to understand that it is Christ speaking. He is the Wisdom of God. Now consider John 1:1, “In the beginning was the Word: the Word was with God and the Word was God.” There is a parallel between Wisdom and Word here. The Greek word John uses is Logos, which during that time implied “world-reason,” the spiritual substance that sustained the Cosmos; Divine logic; Wisdom. The implication, from Hebrew practicality to Greek philosophy, is that in order for things to be sustained and endure (literally Cosmos) there needs to be organization and prioritization. John incarnates that concept and gives the world an axis to revolve around.

 The informative and religious culture during Johns time can be seen in the Aeropagus of Acts 17, where Athenian intellectuals and neighboring cities gathered to discuss the latest trends, philosophies and social news; a sort of ancient CNN and Fox news network. It was here that one could see almost any deity as palpable image. Paul the Apostle was invited to speak, seeing he came with an odd and bold philosophy. Paul points out that, as he browsed the gods and observed their religious sophistication, he came across an image with the inscription: To An Unknown God. These sophists of the Aeropagus were sensible enough to erect an image to a deity that they had not heard been acquainted with in order to not offend it. “In fact, the unknown god you revere is the one I proclaim to you” said Paul. Then, in his precise manner divulges the Logos; incarnate Wisdom; Jesus Christ.

 Our culture today is no different. Postman warned that the rise of images would eradicate the need for words and that the velocity of information that flies through the tube would condense time into a vapor void of worth. Men and women cease to value time and critically filter the information that is so readily available, sugar coated as entertainment, they will inevitably create a pantheistic society with gods so subtle, the most devout Christian would worship it.

 How can time be spent  -not wasted- so as to not injure Eternity? With that in mind, remember that Christ said he came to give life abundantly. If this is so, consider what images and voices we plug in daily that imposes on the Eternal Word? How valuable Wisdom is today as our senses are bombarded on every front offering quicker and easier ways to be satisfied. Time is our limited gift, to pursue the Wisdom of the Word.

 The time I spent watching finches flutter icy winds, the lake lapping at a verdant shore, and the sun, keeping its course like a champion finishing a race, giving the world another day, I wondered if God is still most visible in the small print of those Holy pages as in the whisper Elijah heard out side the cave in the wilderness, within the simple wisdom of Nature, where maybe time –if taken- leads to Christ.

Perched on a log as the sun sank behind a massive peak, I resolved that time will have to tell.   

Friday, June 19, 2009

Hem of Eden

This morning I stood in our doorway, coffee in hand, and waved good-bye to Naomi as she drove off to work. As my eyes followed the car down the street they were stopped abruptly when she passed under an aspen quaking in the morning sun. A gentle wind rustled its leaves that carried an aroma of budding flowers and wetted lawns into our home. For a moment I mused over how sweet the smell was, how nice it was to be able to enjoy a fragment of Nature in the already bustling metropolis. Then the notion that childish sensory experience is too ephemeral and weak, giving way to a growing "dark hour of reason"* became clear the way the tree stood isolated in its tiny plot of concrete, amidst telephone wires, presiding over traffic and under territory claiming dogs.  As if the entirety of Nature could be encapsulated in this one tree, I perceived the clear division of Wilderness and Domesticity; two worlds dramatically divided yet useless with out each other.

 

Every day I pass beneath these trees I savor their sights and smells, but not yet have the two worlds been so clearly juxtaposed as they were this morning. I think it’s due to how I have spent the last four mornings in the Mt. Evans Wilderness. At 6:30 am yesterday, as my companion and I made our way up through a swath of Ponderosa Pine, stopping to vainly fill our lungs with oxygen at 11,000 ft, the sun dripped from the verdant spires onto our faces. I remember telling him that that early morning hour and dusk were my favorite times of day. Then I clarified, "in the forest, that is" and joked that the sun really does shine on both evil and good. We took a moment to absorb the place. 

 

Silent is not how I would describe it. The suns warmth generated a myriad of creatures to life: Gold Finches flirted with each other, a Robin hopped from branch to branch, an alpine chipmunk scurried along the path ahead of us. These were back dropped, however, by a more deafening noise: A brook tumbling over boulders and fallen trees that seemed to carry a conversation with itself from one drop to another. It was so loud, in fact, that in order for my friend and I to talk, we had to raise our voices as if in a mob of people. Then there was the wind overhead. The only way for me to describe this sound is to liken it to breakers on the coast, or, in a more relatable sense, 8 am along side a major highway. For one who basks in silence and despises raucous, this vibration of life soothed my senses and could lull me to sleep and sustain my need for peace. 

 

It goes against how I commonly understand Nature as a refuge of silence away from the perpetual noise of the city. All three nights a mélange of wind, Coyotes, thunder or sleet awakened me. They might have kept my exhausted body from rest had they themselves not ushered me right back to sleep. The noise that awoke me, in a sense, allowed me to witness an activity that often goes by unnoticed. I felt privileged instead of burdened to have woken up. The nature of that anti-silence is so organic to existence that as naturopathic medicines cure our bodily ailments better than a chemical imitations, this slight disturbance worked as a salve on frayed nerves from an unnatural metropolitan life.

 

It’s fascinating how ones mind begins to adapt to the course and habits of a new place. My accustomed senses expect city noise.  In the wilderness, however, what was once a cars audio system, booming and pulsing in deep base tones was replaced by thunder reverberating against monolithic mountains; the hissing of tires on asphalt with breezes and creeks. Upon entering the city, such sounds as sirens, horns, Jake-brakes, engines, exhaust systems etc. seem out of place before one realizes where they have returned. Sounds birthed from our invention to facilitate our pace and habit of life scrape with violent friction against Nature just beyond our borders.

 

Thinking about that aspen as an example that humanity desires Nature in its backyard, subdued and contained, shows that we need Natures resources. The resurgence of natural medicines, organic foods and natural therapy is the outflow of this realization. For my birthday a couple years ago, Naomi bought me a massage at Aveda. When I entered the corridor that led to a small chamber to “get comfortable”, my skin crawled with an eerie sensation from an attempt to contain the essence of nature in a narrow, dimly lit hallway. All sorts of plants were hung from the ceiling and placed on tables or the floor. An audio track played the chirping of birds, the soft texture of a stream while new-age music flowed in long breaths as if to harmonize with Nature. For some who never leave their urban gardens, this might do the trick; a supplement of Nature with out actually having to exert the energy to leave the safety of the city. Despite its cheap representation, it clearly shows what Nature offers our souls and bodies and how it reveals a deep inner need for beauty and tranquility.  

 

Yet, even as I make the time to leave the city for some moments of solace, I cant help but feel isolated in the wilderness, surrounded by its course of life that goes on with or with out my noticing. I feel out of place, estranged and restless, neither there nor here. Its economy demands a different industry and ingenuity for survival, a keen eye and understanding to live. Small and vulnerable I feel a need to return to a place where the resources for surviving are immediate. At once the tension between needing the products of humanity for simple survival and the dread of returning to it mix with the society of Nature, its dour demand for survival-of-the-fittest and its wide open door for anyone who desires to succeed. It bewilders and beckons. One conversation that my friend and I often have is about the inner pull we feel to move out into the wild, live simply and drink from Natures storehouse of resources. As we talk though, its tone changes from passion and dreaming to that of impracticality. As much as we despise the pace and ideals of our culture we realize that we are truly dependent on its resources as well. To live in the city and escape to Natures embrace? or live in Natures bosom and visit the city when needed?  

 

Herman Melville put this tension in perspective when he said,

 

               “...to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in its self. If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more.”

 

Perhaps this is attributed to being simple sojourners on this planet that within our souls there is longing for a paradise. Could it be that there is an actual unmet need and no amount of invention and science will satisfy it? It seems that a technological revolution has brought us full circle, back to primitive basics with rediscovering that a simple life yields a better quality of living, that quantity and quality are more opposed than not, that Natural medicines and diets truly aide our bodies and that containing nature in our neighborhoods allows us to experience a subdued wilderness convenient for hectic schedules. It has allowed us to come even closer to uncovering what lies deep inside the soul of humanity: a need for Eden. But I wonder if Eden were attained here on earth, chained to grim finality, would it truly quench the yearning? Knowing the ephemera of things, I am temporarily satisfied to see the hem of Eden in the quaking of urban Aspens.

 

* John Bjetman - “Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows”

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

2 Years, Baby!

Happy Anniversary 
to the man who has my heart and total devotion.

 
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Being married to you is so much fun.

 
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