Vital Signs Gone

"my relationship with Christ is the most odd. my relationship with sin and the world is not so suprising as a result. i seem to have come to the realization that the glowing, vibrant glory of His face was mistaken for my imagination, and, like rubbing eyes clean of a nights sleep, i have seen that face turn to stone and sitting among many other gods in my life. what about belief? thats there, just totally void of sincere worship.

dont be alarmed, the ship of my faith had holes in it since i set sail nearly six years ago now. only, along with the holes in the prow, the mast is snapped, the captain i found cold dead and theres a fire in the cargo hold with barrels of gun powder....in no time i will explode, sending a resplendant show of sparks and flaming corpse skyward. then...i might be able to began afresh."

Excerpt from a letter